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Wednesday, February 23, 2011

crazy clomid

Since I have decided to be brutally honest about "what is going on" I figured I should keep you all updated. Again, I would just like to say I continue to feel extremely blessed through this blog and through all of the sweet emails and facebook messages. I'm seriously overwhelmed and grateful.
I have officially started my 1st round of clomid and whew I was not prepared for what that drug could do. I have always been overly sensitive to meds, and let me tell you I reacted no differently. Lets just say I cried 3 times in less than 24 hours and I'm not even a crier, so that was a shock for me and even more so for Marc. I literally had NO control over any of my emotions. I felt so ridiculous and was/is on edge all week. I'm guessing this is normal? Although, I'm sure its just a combination of things. One, being that I have had to accept that there is something wrong with me "officially" and two, this could be a really long, grueling process. I'm just trying to keep perspective and give God the glory along the way.

I just wasn't sure that I should be around people all weekend, because who knew when I would start busting out into tears. I mean who wants to be around that all weekend? Marc had a conference to go to in Memphis and I decided it would be best for all parties involved if I just stayed home. I would say it was a great decision. I did NOTHING and loved every second of it. My sweet sister hung out with me only because she was worried about me and we had a great time!

Today I have felt much more normal and not near as crazy and maybe even a little happy, so hopefully I won't be too messed up the rest of the month. I'm also really trying not to get my hopes up, especially since it is only the first month on clomid, but it's just such a hard thing not to think about it. The last thing I want is to be stressed about it. I know nothing good comes from that. To

Thank you all again for all the prayers and well wishes, it truly means a lot to the both of us.

2 comments:

Elizabeth French Cooper said...

You did NOTHING? What am I, chopped liver?

:)

SarahB said...

Michelle, I am so encouraged by your openness and honesty! We tried to get pregnant for about a year and I have a BIG heart for couples going through this. I wish we had been more honest with friends through the process. I have several friends that did clomid and all currently have babies! They also had the same "reaction" to it that you described. :) I will be praying earnestly for God to bless you with a baby. You and Marc will make INCREDIBLE parents.