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Tuesday, March 27, 2012

The details

First of all, thank you everyone for the congrats. Secondly, this feels very surreal to me still. I feel in shock everyday and can't believe God decided to bless us with a miracle.

Here are all the fun {or the not so fun}details:
On February 2nd we did our 2nd ivf cycle. We transferred 2 frozen embryos. We decided to not tell a lot of people this time around because the first time was hard for me to recover from. Not only was I let down, but I felt like many others were as well.
We had the dreadful 10 day wait and and then told NO one the day we went in for the blood test. Marc and I just wanted to be able to process either way for at least a moment.

On Feb 10th I went in for the blood test. I honestly did not know one way or the other this time around. The last time I knew it had not worked. This time I definitely could feel the implantation with uterine cramping but you never know for sure what you are feeling and your mind plays so many tricks on you. I opted to not take an at home test this time. The nurse practitioner said it would be way too early to show up and it was too hard the last time to see those words, "NOT PREGNANT"
So the NP called to give me my results Friday afternoon. I kept busy the whole entire day. I was shopping when she called and dropped all my stuff and literally ran to my car for the fear of becoming a freak show.
She told me the number in a normal voice, which meant nothing to me and then after my long pause she said, Its a YES!!! It does indeed mean positive. My body was in shock, I thought I would never hear those words. EVER.
My body started shaking and then I called Marc. When I called him my voice was shaking, tears were streaming and I said, "its a yes!!!" He had walked out of meeting and was crying and did not know what to do. Poor thing had to go back in and pretend like he was paying attention. I was freaking out because I couldn't tell anyone. He came home early and we just sat there in disbelief, in awe of Gods miracle, in awe that pregnancy was even a possibility for us. Then I ran and peed on one of those sticks that has mocked me for the past 2 years just to see if it would say those words
It was a day I will never ever forget.
I could not believe my eyes. I started screaming and could not stop looking at it.

2/2/12: Procedure Try number 6.






Feeling Hopeful!







Our 2 good embryos that they transferred




For those of you wondering how we made the tiny footprints:
 My dad (popop) made them with the sides of his fists and then with his finger made the tiny little toes. I did not steal a random baby on the beach :)
This was such a sweet moment that I'll never forget.

Tomorrow I will post pics of the baby! We've had 2 ultrasounds now and there is just 1 baby, but the heartbeat is strong and the doctor is very confident about how well things are going, which has been hard for me to wrap my head around. I feel humbled writing this post that I never thought I would get to write. I've dreamed over and over about what or how I would tell. But just because I'm now pregnant, it does not nor will it ever take away the infertility we experienced. And I never ever want to sound like I'm bragging or rubbing this in to anyone who has dealt with loss or has unable to get pregnant. My heart always thinks of those hurting.

Right now I'm 10 weeks and 2 days. The doctor told me I had to stop freaking out. She said waiting 2 more weeks to tell would not be that big of a difference because everything looked good, and the growth she has seen was a great sign. So now I'm choosing to embrace this and will try to kick worry in the butt. 

Thank you all for your prayers. We have felt so much support over the past couple of years and we continue to covet them. Thank you for experiencing the joy with us. We are blessed.



14 comments:

E said...

Michelle,
I think I am delurking, not sure if I've ever posted before. I am SO HAPPY for you and your husband. There really is nothing like being a momma. It's the third best thing that has ever happened to me, Jesus, husband and then my girls. They are such a blessing!
I have never struggled with infertility, but I did struggle with anxiety and fear of something going "wrong" with both of my pregnancies thus far. It is a stronghold I have to pray through each time I am pregnant. I tell you this to assure you that I am praying for you to give those fears and anxities to Jesus, so that you may draw close to Him and enjoy this gift to the fullest!
Hugs to you! May you enjoy these next 30 weeks! They really do fly!

Mallory said...

As someone who struggles with infertility and PCOS, I am SO SO SO happy to see your post and hear your sweet news. It always is an answered prayer for those who have tried so hard! Praise God!!!!!

emily said...

I am so excited for you guys!!!! Congratulations!!

Catie said...

Congrats you guys!!! This is a sweet, sweet post! Made me smile :-)

Emily M. said...

oh my gosh m-face!!! :) i am just praising the lord with you! what a huge blessing! i'm so happy for you and marc! i'll be praying for the pregnancy...so amazing! :)

Sarah said...

Congratulations! I have been a long time reader of your blog and have been praying for the two of you. So glad you are finally blessed with your miracle. God is so good!

Courtney said...

Congratulations! That's super exciting...praising the Lord with you!

waiting and wishing said...

WOOHOO!!!

Joys Truly said...

So proud you are embracing it! I feel the same way. You are pregnant. Wear it loud and proud!

the balentines said...

Can't say how excited we are for you guys! I also cannot tell you how much you have helped put the blessing of parenthood into perspective for us! We thank you!

Michelle said...

Thanks so much everyone!

Erin and Ryan said...

I just started following your blog and wow! What great news for you :) It's always a blessing to hear how God is working in others lives! Congrats!

Mo and Will said...

this is great news!! CONGRATULATIONS!! I'm about a week behind you and cheering you on so strongly!!

xo

Mo

Charlotte said...

What wonderful news - congratulations!