Missing my High School Reunion

Soo a little background...
I grew up in Little Rock and went to a small, private Christian school from K-12th grade. Yes I realize that is not normal and a very long time to attend the same school. I graduated with 55(ish) people and absolutely loved my school. They day we graduated was bittersweet, knowing I wouldn't get to see several of these people I had spent everyday with for the past several years of my life. I'm the one that was counting down till the 10 yr reunion after my freshman year of high school! I know...lame. But our class was pretty close, diverse none the less, but super fun.
Overall I would say I had a pleasant High School experience. I had really close friends, who I'm still close with to this day even though none of us live in the same town now.
I loved playing sports! I played softball, volleyball, and a little soccer. If powder puff football was an option, I definitely would have played that if it had been available but seeing that our school was so small, we didn't get a football team until after I graduated.
I'm very grateful to my parents for making the sacrifice that they did to allow me to go to a private school my entire school career. Those things aren't cheap and they had to sacrifice in a big way for me and my sis to be able to go there. If I had not gone there, I would have done horrible in college and probably failed in a lot of other areas as well.

All this to say, my high school reunion is a few days after I have Maren. I seriously just laugh at the timing because if she was already here or coming 2 weeks after, I would be there. Since i'm having a c-section I won't be able to do it and I have just been so sad about it. I do realize that what I'm about to experience will be soo much better than a reunion, but still I have looked forward to it since the day we left school, so its just hard to believe I won't be able to make it. Although I do feel better knowing that 2 of my best friends won't be able to be there either, so at least I won't miss having to see them. It does ease the pain a little. I keep trying to tell myself I have the whole thing overrated anyways and reunions aren't even that fun. ;)

At least I got to experience Marc's last year so I can say we at least made it to one! For now, I will just continue to wait 10 more years to see everyone! I hear the 20 years are way more fun!

To all my high school friends, have so much fun and I will miss you all a ton!

Good Riddance, Farewell, So Long 2011

Well this year was one for the books. I honestly didn't even want to write this post, but just felt like I should so I can hopefully look back a year from now and be able to see a big difference.

The Low Lights of 2011
-6 rounds of Clomid- failed
-4-iui's- failed
-3-HCG shots- failed
-1 round of ivf- failed
-2 embryos we lost
-countless injections
-countless dr.'s appt's
-countless medical bills
-gaining all kinds of weight
-feeling like I want to go crawl in a hole and never come out
-feeling like the only infertile in my area
-feeling disappointment after disappointment
-losing Marc's grandfather
-.........

The Highlights
-having a God that is bigger than any of our problems and loves us regardless
-growing closer and forming an unbreakable bond with my husband
-having 3 precious, frozen embryos
-understanding and feeling with others pain.
-Learned to be sensitive to others
-Learned that I can't control anything or everything
-My faith was tested and expanded 
-Learned who my true friends are 
-went on numerous trips- Big Cedar, Keystone Co, Austin, Vegas, Dallas, Tulsa, OKC, Florida, san antonio
-blessed by a family who cares for me and loves me dearly
-blessed with amazing insurance
-blessed with an amazing job that I love
-one of my best friends getting engaged
-another best friend finding out she is having quads
-welcomed 2 nephews into the family (on Marc's side)
-got to feel Joy again


So here is to hoping 2012 brings joy, peace, hope, a baby (or 2) and maybe a few more blog followers ;)!
 Love you all. Thanks again for your continued support as we live our battle out.

Happy New Years everyone!

Remembering

On 9-1-01....

I was sitting in my first period math class my senior year. Someone came in and told our teacher what was happening and then we found a TV to watch. I was so confused as to what was going on. I remember thinking I had no clue what the world trade center was but it sounded important. I really kept thinking it was all an accident. I think I just kept asking questions all day that no one could answer. Then when I was on my way home from school that day, and it was chaos. People thought there was going to be no more gas available. The lines to get gas were crazy backed up and I was thinking, "this is way more serious than I'm aware of." I went home and watched the Tv the rest of the afternoon and night.

Today as I watch all the images I learn way more about what happened on that day. I watched dateline friday night and was sitting there in tears hearing families tragic stories. I get chills when I hear the names of the people that were rescued or went back in to pull someone out of the crashing building. I also think about the brave people on the plane who re-directed it to not hit the whitehouse. They had to have been so brave to take on those terroists.
I really can't imagine how horrific that day was to actually be living there in NYC and walking down the street or working in one of the buildings next to it. I'm sure it felt like a horror movie.

I love how America has United through this awful attack and come together. I went to visit ground zero in the summer of 2003, just 2 years later. It was still such a devastating site. The wall of peoples pictures and names were up, with flowers and momentos. I still had so many questions when I was there. It was a difficult site to see and to process. It made what happened very real to me.

I attended the razorback game yesterday with my mom and somehow they managed to get everyone in the stadium to wear red and white and had the student section wear blue. (they didn't think anyone else would wear blue to a razorback game.) It looked amazing!! They also had a beautiful red, white and blue razorback.

student t-shirt logo

 Proud to be an American and a Razorback!

I love the new memorial they built. I heard someone say instead of saying "A day of remembering" we should say "A day to Unite." I can't wait to go visit these someday! 

My heart goes out to all those families who lost loved ones that day. My prayers are with them.