Sunday, May 8, 2011

Happy Mothers Day to my Mom(s)

I just wanted to give a shout out to my wonderful mom.  She is so amazing. She puts herself last and wants to make everyone else happy. She has become one of my best friends and I'm not sure what I would do without her. Thanks for all you do mom!

 3 generations

 what she does best... loves me and encourages me

Marc's mom- I'm blessed to have gained a wonderful mother-in-law who is supportive and encouraging to us. And the plus side is that they both get along! That is always a win!

Her throne. This is where she is residing today and I'm so jealous. This is her happy place.
 and I promise you she has the best legs out of all the moms out there.
(too bad I didn't get them)
They are ridiculously toned and I have envied them my entire life

Thanks to all of our moms who love us and pray for us daily. We are blessed.

On another note, my heart is heavy for those who have lost their moms, babies, or can't have kids. It is a constant reminder and feels like little daggers stabbing you all day. There is no way around it being hard, it just is. It is also very hard to explain it to someone who has never dealt with any of those issues.
It has been an unusually hard weekend for me, I just can't shake the tears. I think it just hit me so hard that I was "supposed" to be a mom by now. I remember sitting in church last mothers day, thinking I could be up there dedicating my baby next year. Instead, everyone else will be up there and I will just be waiting indefinitely. I think it also hit me hard because my sis moved back home for the summer this weekend. I can remember thinking 5 years ago (I swear that is no exaggeration) that I would have a baby her freshman year of college, and then she would of course want to stay with me over the summer to help me....Instead, she is gone for the summer, and I have no baby to care of and I will miss her extremely bad...
All of these thoughts prevented me from going to church this morning. I kept thinking I just won't be able to handle it. I'm going to cause a big scene with all of the tears and it just wasn't worth it. I guess in a selfish way I'm trying to protect myself from any more hurt than I already have had.
Sorry for the venting. I do hope some day I will be able to enjoy this Holiday because I'm sure it feels wonderful, but I will never forget those who are hurting on this day. Because I know I'm not the only one.


Katie Grace Designs said...

Love you so much! I wish so bad that I could take all of this pain away from you. Just know you have tons of people praying and you have a little two year old who loves you as much as his real mom!

Carly Grace said...

I thought about you and many other people I know struggling with infertility yesterday, on mother's day. As I looked at my facebook news feed with half of the world displaying the glories of being a mother, I thought about how people trying to be a mother would feel very discouraged. I'm so sorry you are going through this.

ReallyHighMaintenance said...

I am praying for you Michelle! My heart breaks for you, even though I do not yet know exactly what you are going through...I do know what it feels like to be hurting and yearning for something that you want so badly...but no amount of prayer has made it come true yet. I know that I will channel my prayers for you specifically...and for God to hold you and cover you with His love, strength and peace, as only HE can!
Love you,

ReallyHighMaintenance said...

I am praying for you Michelle! My heart breaks for you during this difficult time. I do not yet know exactly what you are feeling...but I can tell you I know what is feels like to be hurting and wanting something so badly...and to feel like no amount of prayers will make it come true. It has caused me to lean on God more andmore every single day. I know that kind of hurt...and I will channel my prayers for you specifically...for God to hold you and surround you in His love and give you peace and strenght as only HE can.
Love you,