Thursday, February 16, 2012

another year

On February 9th, 2011 is when I finally "came out" and began talking about or struggle through infertility. I wrote a long post about it here about a year ago :
I can't believe a year has gone by. A lot of times I think to myself how full circle things have come. Like how when I wrote that post during a great big snow storm, I was secretly hoping by the next snow storm I would be snuggled up with a sweet baby during the next winters storm. Well it snowed yesterday, and obviously there is no baby to snuggle with, but I do have my Louie {Kidding for those of you that know my dog}.
All I know is that I can say I thought I had learned a lot then, but wow I have learned so much more from going through this experience.
God has revealed more of Him to me, He has shown me what Peace truly feels like, He has brought me closer to Him and my husband. He has shown me what prayer is, what ultimate Faith looks like, what friendships are made of and what I'm made of {which is ugly by the way}.
I have been broken, lifted up, felt abandoned at times,but also stronger than ever. For that I'm grateful. I can honestly thank Him for what we have already gone through and what is still to come.
I will say giving up my control had been one of the most liberating things, being the planner I am. I seriously can't control anything on this journey and it feels so great to know that and understand that concept finally.
So for now I choose to trust him and no to worry.
Marc so kindly quoted this verse to me in a moment of panic and worry...he always knows how to calm me down.

Philippians 4:6-7  do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Thanks for continuing on this journey with us...another year


Ashley said...

Sometimes the years come quicker than the months - either that or they hurt more... hang in there. This dream will come true!!

Carrie said...

I know EXACTLY how you feel. Our journey to a baby lasted 2 1/2 years and during that time I can tell you that I lost faith in God. I feel so guilty about that now because right beside me is my 3 week old baby that God miraculously let me conceive. We did so many treatments that I just completely gave up hope...until I got the shock of my life. NOW I know that God had this planned for me all along...I just had to trust Him. It's so great you realize this now. It will make your journey so much easier and the baby that comes into your life will be that much more of a gift. It WILL happen!