Fun times

We had a great weekend this past weekend. Our schedule was packed full of of hanging out and spending time with friends and family.

Friday night we had a fun "Hog Party" over the Baileys. She had it catered with some yummy food and she even had the margarita man there! Pretty much our whole community group was there, so that was way fun.

plus my buddy Sawyer was there....i'm still very obsessed with him

i may or may not have give him some cake...this may or may not be the result...i'll never tell.

 I have to keep my "Aunt Chelle" status as long as possible... just sayin

who knows what was going on here

Saturday my parents came up. It was dads day at the Pi Phi house. And my dad being the sweetest dad ever (even with a bummed knee) came and had lunch with Meg. We had some great food there and then later after the rain stopped, My mom, Marc and I headed to the Razorback game. It unfortunately ended up being a close game, so we stayed most of the time. It was fun, even in the nosebleed section.



On Sunday we went back over the Baileys house and had a luncheon for Katie (Sawyers mom). She is due in about a month with Brooklyn. I'm really hoping B will like me as much as S!

she is of course the cutest prego person ever...even with #2

repeat picture from friday

Starting

Well this week marks the week of starting the ivf process. I officially started once again. I was still holding out a glimmer of hope, but that quickly dissolved when Af (Aunt Flow) showed up. I just kept thinking if we aren't supposed to move on, I will be pregnant, so it just confirms to me that I'm doing the right thing.

I've had a few thoughts as I'm about to enter this new phase or as I like to call it "chapter 3" of the journey:

* I'm absolutely terrified. I know we are supposed to do this, but it does not make it any less intimidating,
* I have to take it one day at a time
* I have to stay positive. I feel like I've read several blogs recently that have already gone through this and did not have positive outcomes. So I'm trying to prepare myself.
* I'm nervous.
* I don't want to get fatter and more moody...yuck.
* I'm excited to move on and have a plan
* I don't know how to not get my hopes up
* I don't know how I'll get through the Holidays if it is not successful
* God is teaching me how to be vulnerable through this. It's humbling. It's life-changing.
* I'm grateful for a supportive husband and family as we go through this.
* I'm grateful for a God that is bigger than me and way more powerful than any doctor.
* I'm going to attempt to have an attitude of thankfulness through this whole process because I am indeed thankful to even have the opportunity to do it and that is has been made available to us.

Thank you to all that are on this journey with us. Your prayers and sweet comments mean so much to us both.



1 Thess 5:16-18 (NIV)


¹⁶ Rejoice always, ¹⁷ pray continually, ¹⁸ give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. 

From Introvert to Extrovert back to Introvert

Sorry for the lengthy title. Let me explain.

in·tro·vert:

1.a shy person.

2. Psychology . a person characterized by concern primarily with his or her own thoughts and feelings ( opposed to extrovert). 

 

 ex·tro·vert:

 

1.an outgoing, gregarious person.

2.Psychology . a person characterized by extroversion;  a person concerned primarily with the physical and social environment ( opposed to introvert). 

taken from www.dictionary.com

 

When I was in college and when I first got married I took a personality test. It said 100% introvert which was complete opposite of Marc. After a few years of marriage I became extremely more extroverted. I loved hanging out with our friends, I could hardly stand sitting at home not doing anything. While I started becoming more social and finding my energy through people, Marc was going the other way. It was like role reversal and strange.

Fast forward to today and we have done another switcharoo. I definitely think life plays a huge part in how you feel and where you get your energy from.

While I was feeling great, settling into married life I felt on top of the world. We were making so many friends and had a ton of already established couple friends. I wanted to constantly hang out with them as Marc was wanting to just be at home a lot.

Now I can hardly go anywhere without Marc. It’s as if he is my security blanket. Since I don’t have a child I just cling to him if we go anywhere. Conversations are hard for me when they revolve only around other peoples kids and so when that happens I just turn to him and talk to him about something that is familiar and then I suddenly feel better.

I rarely want to go anywhere when there are a lot of kids around. Most of the time I love the kids a ton, but it just becomes a constant reminder.

I know I have to get over these insecurities. I sometimes feel trapped and confused. I hate missing out on things, but I also hate being alone (in 2 ways). Hopefully the anxiety will subside one of these days and maybe one day I can get back to being a fun, spontaneous extrovert. 

For now I will just be introverted at home and extroverted here on the blog!

Why IVF

Why we chose IVf...

There are several reasons we have decided to do this. A big reason is that we have been blessed with great insurance. We know that does not make it free, but we started saving for a child long before we started trying. Remember I'm a planner...(I'm still learning how to not be one) We started saving to cover hospital expenses and furniture for a nursery... we will just have enough to cover our total expenses.

We have such a Peace about it. This wasn't something we just couldn't wait to do. Honestly who wants to go through something like this that is really not so easy? It will by no means be a piece of cake or a walk in the park. Who wants to give themselves shots everyday. Talk about getting poked, probed, and looked at are never fun.
We have been praying about this for awhile. We have also had family and friends praying for us for quite sometime now. I have talked to several different people that have been through it already. Some are successful stories and some are not. I have to be okay with whatever the outcome is, positive or negative. That is not an easy place to get to. To put myself through this mentally and physically, failure does not seem appealing. I do know whatever the outcome will be, will be Gods choice and not mine. We do not put our faith in the doctors whatsoever. We know He has chosen to test our Faith greatly through this process and it is only strengthening both Marc and I.

If we were to not try this, I'm not sure I could properly grieve about NEVER having a child. I think it would be hard to move on past it, whether that would someday be towards adoption or being foster parents. I just think I would always wonder... "What If?" or I would continue to ask myself why was I being so stubborn in not giving it a chance when great insurance is present?

We are fully aware that it is risky and there are a lot of moral convictions that we have about it. We will definitely be taking the more conservative approach. We will most likely not have all of the eggs fertilized to keep the number of embryos down. Remember, I have major back issues, so we will also only be putting 1 in at a time. We will be praying for God to choose that number of embryos we get. We are sure He will not give us more than we can handle.

All of this to say we are excited to be moving on. I know I'm trying to just take 1 thing at a time because all the information is so daunting, but I'm thankful for the opportunity to do this and I'm thankful to be moving on to our next chapter.

I will most likely be blogging my way through this whole process with hopefully some fun in between. I do someday want to print the blog into a book form, so I want to keep an account of what happens. I also think it is good therapy for me to write about it all. :)

Thank you for joining us on this long, crazy, hard journey.

1 Peter 1:6-7 

⁶ So be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you have to endure many trials for a little while. ⁷ These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold—though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world.

New Living Translation (NLT)