There are several reasons we have decided to do this. A big reason is that we have been blessed with great insurance. We know that does not make it free, but we started saving for a child long before we started trying. Remember I'm a planner...(I'm still learning how to not be one) We started saving to cover hospital expenses and furniture for a nursery... we will just have enough to cover our total expenses.
We have such a Peace about it. This wasn't something we just couldn't wait to do. Honestly who wants to go through something like this that is really not so easy? It will by no means be a piece of cake or a walk in the park. Who wants to give themselves shots everyday. Talk about getting poked, probed, and looked at are never fun.
We have been praying about this for awhile. We have also had family and friends praying for us for quite sometime now. I have talked to several different people that have been through it already. Some are successful stories and some are not. I have to be okay with whatever the outcome is, positive or negative. That is not an easy place to get to. To put myself through this mentally and physically, failure does not seem appealing. I do know whatever the outcome will be, will be Gods choice and not mine. We do not put our faith in the doctors whatsoever. We know He has chosen to test our Faith greatly through this process and it is only strengthening both Marc and I.
If we were to not try this, I'm not sure I could properly grieve about NEVER having a child. I think it would be hard to move on past it, whether that would someday be towards adoption or being foster parents. I just think I would always wonder... "What If?" or I would continue to ask myself why was I being so stubborn in not giving it a chance when great insurance is present?
We are fully aware that it is risky and there are a lot of moral convictions that we have about it. We will definitely be taking the more conservative approach. We will most likely not have all of the eggs fertilized to keep the number of embryos down. Remember, I have major back issues, so we will also only be putting 1 in at a time. We will be praying for God to choose that number of embryos we get. We are sure He will not give us more than we can handle.
All of this to say we are excited to be moving on. I know I'm trying to just take 1 thing at a time because all the information is so daunting, but I'm thankful for the opportunity to do this and I'm thankful to be moving on to our next chapter.
I will most likely be blogging my way through this whole process with hopefully some fun in between. I do someday want to print the blog into a book form, so I want to keep an account of what happens. I also think it is good therapy for me to write about it all. :)
Thank you for joining us on this long, crazy, hard journey.