Sorry for the lengthy title. Let me explain.
in·tro·vert:1.a shy person.
2. Psychology . a person characterized by concern primarily with his or her own thoughts and feelings ( opposed to extrovert).
1.an outgoing, gregarious person.
2.Psychology . a person characterized by extroversion; a person concerned primarily with the physical and social environment ( opposed to introvert).
taken from www.dictionary.com
When I was in college and when I first got married I took a personality test. It said 100% introvert which was complete opposite of Marc. After a few years of marriage I became extremely more extroverted. I loved hanging out with our friends, I could hardly stand sitting at home not doing anything. While I started becoming more social and finding my energy through people, Marc was going the other way. It was like role reversal and strange.
Fast forward to today and we have done another switcharoo. I definitely think life plays a huge part in how you feel and where you get your energy from.
While I was feeling great, settling into married life I felt on top of the world. We were making so many friends and had a ton of already established couple friends. I wanted to constantly hang out with them as Marc was wanting to just be at home a lot.
Now I can hardly go anywhere without Marc. It’s as if he is my security blanket. Since I don’t have a child I just cling to him if we go anywhere. Conversations are hard for me when they revolve only around other peoples kids and so when that happens I just turn to him and talk to him about something that is familiar and then I suddenly feel better.
I rarely want to go anywhere when there are a lot of kids around. Most of the time I love the kids a ton, but it just becomes a constant reminder.
I know I have to get over these insecurities. I sometimes feel trapped and confused. I hate missing out on things, but I also hate being alone (in 2 ways). Hopefully the anxiety will subside one of these days and maybe one day I can get back to being a fun, spontaneous extrovert.
For now I will just be introverted at home and extroverted here on the blog!