Whew, I'm just flat out exhausted. The past couple weeks have just been crazy. A wedding, 2 funerals, and lots and lots of driving to Little Rock. I feel emotionally and physically overwhelmed. There have just been so many emotions going on. By last night I could no longer hold it in and the meltdown began. I just started crying and couldn't stop. I felt it coming and there was no stopping it. I had been holding it in and trying to be strong for everyone else, but I broke last night. Although I cried myself to sleep, I feel much, much better today.
As I have been trying to process the past week, God has revealed himself in so many ways to me. I can feel Him closer to me than I have in months. Death and funerals really get me thinking a lot about my purpose and what I'm on this earth for. I always try to imagine what it will be like on the other side. I know for a fact there will be no more pain or suffering. I'm so thankful to be saved by grace. I think about what a terrible sinner I am and how I take things for granted, but yet I'm still loved by our Heavenly Father. I'm just in awe.
I know it's so hard to understand why some people's lives are cut short, but He always has a purpose and reason even if we cannot see them at that time. When I'm at funerals, I often pray for those that may not know Him personally to be able to just get a glimpse of the Lord and maybe get them thinking about how they want to spend eternity. I think it will be one big party in Heaven and I can't wait!
"I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?" (NIV)
Randy Alcorn has a couple of books on Heaven. I have read "Heaven for Kids" and it was so wonderful. There is also "Heaven" for adults if you are interested. I'm not the best reader or deep thinker so much, so I really enjoyed the one for kids!
1 day ago