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Thursday, December 15, 2011

Much Better

So I wanted to give you all a quick update. I know my last few posts that were on infertility weren't too uplifting or exciting, but they were honest. I also did not want y'all to worry about me since they were so down.  Emotions were crazier than I had ever felt  in my whole life.
All in all I'm doing much better. Sometime in the past 2 weeks I just woke up one day and felt way better! It was crazy. It was like I woke up and the dark, grey cloud had finally left me. I felt my first glimpse of happiness that I had felt in months. It was so odd and really surprising and I really was unsure if it would stay. Now that I'm 2 weeks in, I still feel great. I think those silly, evil meds took awhile to get out of my system and I didn't even realize what was going on. I had no idea how much they were truly affecting my mind, attitude, and relational skills.
This still doesn't change my situation or change me still being sad about the failed ivf, I just feel like a normal, functioning human being again and that feels awesome! I thankfully don't feel mad at the world, mad at Christmas commercials. Now the elf on the shelf thing is wearing me out and most Christmas songs, but other than that the season hasn't bothered me near as much as I thought it would have.
I'm very thankful God has given some peace to get through Christmas. Don't get me wrong, I definitely still have my moments of jealousy, bitterness, and hopelessness, but thankfully they aren't as intense.

 We still are unsure of when the FET {frozen embryo cycle} will be and it has been great not thinking about it or trying to plan it all out. That definitely has taken pressure off and is giving me a nice break.

Joshua 1:9 (NIV)

9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.” 

I have to remind myself that He is with me and hears me even though sometimes I doubt Him.
Thank you all again for your prayers and encouragement. 

2 comments:

Riley Hill said...

i'm so glad you're feeling better! i hope yall have an awesome christmas!!

Jessica said...

All my love to you, Michelle. I don't pretend to understand your struggle but I'm so sorry you have to endure it. Trusting that God will bring beauty from it and that He will give you strength in the waiting. Jessica Brogdon