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Tuesday, November 29, 2011

To Decorate or Not decorate...

I've been struggling with this question. Should I or should I not decorate for Christmas. It is this constant battle right now I have going on in my head. My mind says no but my heart says yes. The reason my mind says no is mainly because I don't want to have Christmas. I rather pretend that its not really coming in a few short weeks. If I put a tree up, then that will be a constant reminder to me that I have to do Christmas yet once again without a baby and without being pregnant. I thought the first year was hard, but oh boy was I wrong. The second is killer.
I know that Christmas is not about d├ęcor, nor is it about me.  What I would really love is that we could just go far away for Christmas. Obviously running away solves all your problems…right?! Kidding, kind of. I think its me trying to protect myself from a lot of pain and sadness. That doesn’t mean I can justify it by boycotting Christmas, I think what it means for me is that I need to focus only on what the real meaning of Christmas truly is...

Luke 1:30-33
 30 And the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God. 31 And behold, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus. 32 He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. And the Lord God will give to him the throne of his father David, 33 and he will reign over the house of Jacob forever, and of his kingdom there will be no end.”

In all seriousness, I haven’t decided about what to do. I kind of think without a tree it would make Christmas simple. Simplicity is a great reminder for me and helps me to remember the real reason for the season. What about you? What are some things that help you remember the reason for the season?


4 comments:

Ashley said...

This will be the 2nd year with no tree for us - and my husband is Mr. Christmas. We find it depressing now!! I hate how much infertility has taken away from us! We are beginning cycle now and just decided it would be too much! I find holidays especially hard though!!

Linds said...

so sorry Michelle! I'm praying for yall!!!

Stephanie Johnson said...

This is our 2nd Christmas struggling w/ infertility, as well. You just have to do what feels right for you. For us, I like having the Christmas decor out, but I am deliberate about what I display and what stays packed away this year.

Most of my decor this year is focused more on the religious aspect (crosses, nativity set, etc) with a few "wintery" things like snowflakes, winter greenery, etc. Those things keep me focused on the true reason for the season and less focused on dreaming about what it would be like to have a child during this time. You won't find many Santa decorations around my house this year.

Lindsay said...

Girl. Dance in the rain. You have a delightful hubby and you guys deserve a happy home at Christmas even if it's just the two of you for now. And I'm not even a Christmas-y person. Just do it- Decorate! Love, Pink Green and Zebra Decorating Lady