Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Joplin on my mind

I know I already did a post on Joplin, but I just can't stop thinking about this town that is now in shambles. Marc and I went yesterday to help out. I had the opportunity to put together packages of supplies and then deliver them to people.
I felt sick to my stomach most of the day. I mean I can't imagine having 3 kids and NOTHING left. That was the first place we went yesterday. When I say they lost everything, I mean you can't even tell there was a house or better yet a neighborhood. Here are some pics I took yesterday while driving around.

This goes on for 14 miles and a mile wide.

Please go help them if you can. They are amazing people and have such a good perspective. Most just feel blessed to be alive. There will be things to do for several years there.
Here is some video I tool while riding in the car yesterday.

Friday, May 27, 2011

Empty Numbers

-365 days
-250 folic acid vitamins
-20 doctors appointments
-4 rounds of clomid
-2 failed iui's
=1 empty womb

Although there is still no baby. I do still have HOPE...

Romans 15:13
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Heavy Heart

My heart is so heavy for Joplin today. I've been looking at the pictures and watching different videos of news reporters and to think they are all only an hour away from where I live.
I literally get sick to my stomach and teary eyed every time I look at these images. The damage is just devastating. Marc went with a big group of guys today to help start some of the cleanup and take supplies. I can't believe just a few weeks ago this also happened in Alabama. Can you imagine in a blink of an eye that everything can be taken away or destroyed in an instant. There are still over 1500 unaccounted for, which are hopefully still alive. I always think this can NEVER happen to me or in my area, but it can. We are actually supposed to get severe weather tonight. I keep seeing tweets of northwest Arkansas being extremely "high risk" and I saw a weather guy tweet earlier, "if you have never taken a tornado warning serious, today you really should."
I mean to be honest, I'm pretty fearful of what tonight could end up looking like. I'm praying hard against this.

The high School
this was a neighborhood

The Hospital

And a Church...I think God wanted everyone to know He is still with us and will not be shaken
The good news is that God is still in control. Although we will always have the "why" questions, He is with us and will never forsake us.
As my heart breaks for so many, there are several people around our area that have family there. My co-workers kids & grand kids attended this church (shown above). Their lives were spared as well as their home. They are in shock. Her son works at Lowes and they setup triage in the lumber department sunday night.
I really can't fathom the amount of devastation. I know I've never been this close to something of this magnitude. So please join me in praying for these people. They are hurting.

Here are some other ways to help if you are local in NWA...
1. Financial Aid :: Fellowship has an account set up for those wanting to make financial contributions to the Joplin Relief Effort.  You may do this through your my.fellowship account under "Joplin Relief," or you may write a check to Fellowship Bible Church (please notate "Joplin Relief" in the memo).   

Relief Items :: Fellowship is joining JB Hunt and Mercy Health Systems in coordinating the collection of relief supplies for Joplin.  Beginning Tuesday, May 24th, there will be trucks available on the parking lot at Mercy Medical Center in Rogers, 2710 Rife Medical Lane off the Promenade exit from I540, to receive your donations. 
Suggested items are:
-       -Canned and NON PERISHABLE food items (they are running out of freezers, refrigerators, etc)
-        -Underwear, all shapes and sizes from children to extra-extra large adult
-          -Personal hygiene items that don’t require water (especially baby wipes & deodorant)
-          -Duct tape
-          -Paper products for eating
-          -Generators
-          -Chain saws

 3. Volunteer Assistance :: We are planning to send teams from our area in the coming days. Contact me at miyount@fellowshipnwaorg to be part of one of these teams. You may also find updated information on my church's 

4. Donate Blood at any local red cross!


Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Oh Louie

So if you have ever been to our house you have met our lovely and lively dog, Louie. I begged and begged for this dog. After about a year of begging and moving into a house, Marc finally caved. I saved my $$ for awhile and then I went and got him in little rock. Well as I chose him, he came barreling out of the cage, running over his sweet brother and then proceeded to run circles around the living room. Pretty sure he had completed 5 by the time his brother came out. My mom did ask several times if I was sure I wanted this one...
Anyways, Louie keeps us on our toes daily. He is loud, doesn't get along with other dogs, neurotic and then occasionally very snuggly. Marc continually asks me when we can get rid of him. I say until we have a child because it would be way too boring and quiet without him.

Being his crazy self, he tried to attack this little vacuum the other day while I was using it. So I got it out again to see if he would do the same thing, and he did. We thought it was hilarious, so I had Marc video it!

Warning: turn your volume down on your phone or computer. He is small, but very LOUD!

The odd thing is, is that when I regularly use the Dyson he NEVER does that. He is definitely one little peculiar guy.
Any takers? Kidding...kind of!

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Reasons to Laugh

In the midst of dealing with infertility, I found this blog called 999 reasons to laugh at infertility. Its a little cynical, but it does make me laugh and it unfortunately has a lot of truth behind each of the posts. Here is one that I recently have enjoyed and have read several times.

So what if your uterus’ isn’t behaving! Who cares if your husband’s sperm has more tails than a dog! It doesn’t matter if you’re tubes have no idea how to fallop! Don’t feel sorry for us! There are lots of positive aspects to being an infertile such as….
(1) No awkward sex talk to your future children! Explaining the birds and the bees to our children will be fun! “Little Tommy, when a mommy and a daddy love each other they drive to a fertility clinic and 4 years later, you are conceived with a lot of love and a little test tube.”
(2) By the time you are pregnant, your friends are already finished having kids. You can borrow all their baby stuff (even if they are stained with poop and vomit).
(3) During IVF or IUI, your partner doesn’t even have to be present during conception! Just send him a quick text once it’s done. “Honey, we did it! How was it for you?”
(4) When you go to sleep at night, you still get to sleep through the night.
(5) You get to cry about infertility in random places. Why go to a boring old grocery store if you’re just going to shop. Yawn. Boring. Having a emotional breakdown in the tampon aisle, now that’s interesting!
(6) Your friends all offer to let you have their bratty kids. Great! So don’t be surprised and call the police when you take them. You had a verbal agreement.
(7) When you’re quintuplets arrive, you might get your own television show called IVF Mama Plus Five!
(8) You get to have surgery to help improve your fertility…. The positive side? The hospital offers these delicious pudding cups for lunch! Lip-smacking!
(9) Your friends have stretch marks, sagging breasts and wrinkles. You only have weight gain and acne due to fertility medication.
(10) Whoever said infertility was awful obviously never met your hot fertility doctor! He can inseminate you anytime!
This post was taken from here:
They really do all make me laugh, which is way better than crying in my mind.
Hope you all had a wonderful weekend.

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Happy Mothers Day to my Mom(s)

I just wanted to give a shout out to my wonderful mom.  She is so amazing. She puts herself last and wants to make everyone else happy. She has become one of my best friends and I'm not sure what I would do without her. Thanks for all you do mom!

 3 generations

 what she does best... loves me and encourages me

Marc's mom- I'm blessed to have gained a wonderful mother-in-law who is supportive and encouraging to us. And the plus side is that they both get along! That is always a win!

Her throne. This is where she is residing today and I'm so jealous. This is her happy place.
 and I promise you she has the best legs out of all the moms out there.
(too bad I didn't get them)
They are ridiculously toned and I have envied them my entire life

Thanks to all of our moms who love us and pray for us daily. We are blessed.

On another note, my heart is heavy for those who have lost their moms, babies, or can't have kids. It is a constant reminder and feels like little daggers stabbing you all day. There is no way around it being hard, it just is. It is also very hard to explain it to someone who has never dealt with any of those issues.
It has been an unusually hard weekend for me, I just can't shake the tears. I think it just hit me so hard that I was "supposed" to be a mom by now. I remember sitting in church last mothers day, thinking I could be up there dedicating my baby next year. Instead, everyone else will be up there and I will just be waiting indefinitely. I think it also hit me hard because my sis moved back home for the summer this weekend. I can remember thinking 5 years ago (I swear that is no exaggeration) that I would have a baby her freshman year of college, and then she would of course want to stay with me over the summer to help me....Instead, she is gone for the summer, and I have no baby to care of and I will miss her extremely bad...
All of these thoughts prevented me from going to church this morning. I kept thinking I just won't be able to handle it. I'm going to cause a big scene with all of the tears and it just wasn't worth it. I guess in a selfish way I'm trying to protect myself from any more hurt than I already have had.
Sorry for the venting. I do hope some day I will be able to enjoy this Holiday because I'm sure it feels wonderful, but I will never forget those who are hurting on this day. Because I know I'm not the only one.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

A Few Questions

The other day I got in my car and the radio was on the country station. {not sure why, because I rarely listen to country these days.} This song by Clay Walker was on and this is the line I immediately heard,

"And how can two people who've built a loving home
Try for years and never have a child of their own
And somewhere out there tonight there's a baby no one's holding tight"

Umm HELLO. That got my attention pretty quickly.
So I continued to listen to the rest of the song.
Here are all of the lyrics.

Clay Walker A Few Questions Lyrics:
How in this world can we put a man on the moon
And still have a need for a place like St. Jude's
And why is one man born in a place where all they know is war
And a guy like me has always been free
And how can two people who've built a loving home
Try for years and never have a child of their own
And somewhere out there tonight there's a baby no one's holding tight
In need of love, to me that don't add up

But I wasn't there the day you filled up the oceans
I didn't get to see you hang the stars in the sky
So I don't mean to second guess you or criticize what I don't understand
These are just a few questions I have

And why did my cousin have to die in that crash
A good kid only 17, I still wonder about that
It seems unfair to me some get the chance to chase their dreams
And some don't, but what do I know?

I wasn't there the day you filled up the oceans
I didn't get to see you hang the stars in the sky
So I don't mean to second guess you or criticize what I don't understand
These are just a few questions I have

Why do I feel like you're hearing these prayers of mine
When so many outta be ahead of me in line
When you look down on me, can you see the good through all the bad
These are just a few questions I have

The timing of this song could not have been more perfect. This was the day that I learned that our first IUI had FAILED. All I could think about was, WHY God Why. We went through so much last month. I'm exhausted already from counting days for the next month and going to more doctors appointments.
So yeah I have a few questions of these things I don't understand. But I do know that He is the God and creator of this universe. He is ALL knowing and He does have all the answers. He is all I need. I also hope that I can look back on this whole journey and see that we struggled "well" and glorified Him through it all.

My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken. (Psalm 62:1-2)

So as we begin another long month, I'm praying for peace, patience, guidance and faithfulness. The Lord has already given me an unexplainable peace so far which I'm so thankful for.
Now if I can just get through the weekend... Nothing reminds me more of how infertile I am than Mothers day coming up. So instead I will just have to focus on my wonderful mother.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Saw Bears Birthday

This past weekend I got to celebrate sweet Sawyer's birthday. Of course Katie did another amazing job on an awesome party. She even had a location change at the last minute and pulled it off without a hitch.

So since Sawyer and I are so obsessed with each other, I thought I would make him a little birthday collage. To see more pictures, you can check Katie's blog:

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I will post an update soon of what is going on with the latest with our journey.