Our miracle

After getting the positive blood tests and re-confirming 2 more times, we waited 2 weeks to see the little nugget. I really wasn't too nervous when we went in other than finding out if we would be having twins or not. My gut feeling initially was that it was 1 and I'll go ahead and say, I feel like it might be a girl. Marc's prediction that there were for sure 2 and they would both be boys... So far I'm right. We were still a little sad that one of the embryos didn't make it, we really wanted them both to survive, but God had other plans.
As soon as we had the ultrasound you could see the teensie heart flickering and we were beyond thrilled. She also re-assured me that seeig the heartbeat this early was a great thing. It decreases our chances down to 3% od iscarrying she said, which was very surprising to me. Although, I know nothing in this life is a guarantee. All that to say looking at these pictures make me feel in such awe. I can't quit staring at them! That day seeing the baby was one I will also never forget. It was so surreal and I could not stop smiling.

6W1D (6 weeks 1 day)

Just the size of a piece of rice! And we saw the heartbeat flickering!

Our second ultrasound, we had to wait 4 weeks, and it felt like a whole year had gone by. I was so nervous this second time. I knew the past 4 weeks had been so critical and lots of times it either grows or doesn't. I was terrified. Plus we had to wait for forever. They also were not going to do and US, but since she couldn't find the heartbeat with the doppler thing, she let us have one because she could see the worry all over my face! Ha. I'm pretty sure Marc's whole body was shaking by this time. Finally we got to see that sweet little thing. The heart was beating great and her guestimate was around 150ish bpm.

10W1D

It is now the size of a strawberry! I could not believe the growth in 4 weeks. Seriously such a miracle.

I'm still so humbled about everything. Thank you all for rejoicing with us and following our journey. we are so grateful and our hearts feel like they could burst!

The details

First of all, thank you everyone for the congrats. Secondly, this feels very surreal to me still. I feel in shock everyday and can't believe God decided to bless us with a miracle.

Here are all the fun {or the not so fun}details:
On February 2nd we did our 2nd ivf cycle. We transferred 2 frozen embryos. We decided to not tell a lot of people this time around because the first time was hard for me to recover from. Not only was I let down, but I felt like many others were as well.

We had the dreadful 10 day wait and and then told NO one the day we went in for the blood test. Marc and I just wanted to be able to process either way for at least a moment.

On Feb 10th I went in for the blood test. I honestly did not know one way or the other this time around. The last time I knew it had not worked. This time I definitely could feel the implantation with uterine cramping but you never know for sure what you are feeling and your mind plays so many tricks on you. I opted to not take an at home test this time. The nurse practitioner said it would be way too early to show up and it was too hard the last time to see those words, "NOT PREGNANT"
So the NP called to give me my results Friday afternoon. I kept busy the whole entire day. I was shopping when she called and dropped all my stuff and literally ran to my car for the fear of becoming a freak show.
She told me the number in a normal voice, which meant nothing to me and then after my long pause she said, Its a YES!!! It does indeed mean positive. My body was in shock, I thought I would never hear those words. EVER.
My body started shaking and then I called Marc. When I called him my voice was shaking, tears were streaming and I said, "its a yes!!!" He had walked out of meeting and was crying and did not know what to do. Poor thing had to go back in and pretend like he was paying attention. I was freaking out because I couldn't tell anyone. He came home early and we just sat there in disbelief, in awe of Gods miracle, in awe that pregnancy was even a possibility for us. Then I ran and peed on one of those sticks that has mocked me for the past 2 years just to see if it would say those words
It was a day I will never ever forget.

I could not believe my eyes. I started screaming and could not stop looking at it.

2/2/12: Procedure Try number 6.

Feeling Hopeful!

Our 2 good embryos that they transferred

For those of you wondering how we made the tiny footprints:

 My dad (popop) made them with the sides of his fists and then with his finger made the tiny little toes. I did not steal a random baby on the beach :)

This was such a sweet moment that I'll never forget.

Tomorrow I will post pics of the baby! We've had 2 ultrasounds now and there is just 1 baby, but the heartbeat is strong and the doctor is very confident about how well things are going, which has been hard for me to wrap my head around. I feel humbled writing this post that I never thought I would get to write. I've dreamed over and over about what or how I would tell. But just because I'm now pregnant, it does not nor will it ever take away the infertility we experienced. And I never ever want to sound like I'm bragging or rubbing this in to anyone who has dealt with loss or has unable to get pregnant. My heart always thinks of those hurting.

Right now I'm 10 weeks and 2 days. The doctor told me I had to stop freaking out. She said waiting 2 more weeks to tell would not be that big of a difference because everything looked good, and the growth she has seen was a great sign. So now I'm choosing to embrace this and will try to kick worry in the butt. 

Thank you all for your prayers. We have felt so much support over the past couple of years and we continue to covet them. Thank you for experiencing the joy with us. We are blessed.

Costa rica fun!

We had a great time in costa rica. I got back on Wednesday then left for Dallas on Friday so I didn't have time to update before I left again. It was so beautiful and a great time with the family. It was such a unique place to visit. The sunsets were exceptional and monkeys were super entertaining. I wish I was still there!

Oh this was probably my favorite part of the trip!!!

Surprise! We are pregnant!!!

Due 10/21/12

Details to come tomorrow!

Lately {in Pics}

First, I'm sorry I have done a terrible job of blogging lately. I just feel like life has been pretty dullish and not lots going on. This is a first. I have also felt very un-inspired to write about stuff. Not because I'm not thinking about it, but I felt I was starting repeat myself a lot and it was starting to get old. Taking a break has been great though in a lot of ways. So I'm glad I did, but left you all in the dark I guess and I fell bad about that.
I promise after I get back from vacay I will do a complete update about everything and where we are and what we are thinking.

Secondly, Here is our life in pics from the past several weekends:

-Marc and I tried a new little bakery close to our area and it was delightful and so cute! We will definitely be going back to Briar Rose! The brunch was delicious. Apparently they make amazing cakes as well.

-My absolute FAVORITE donut shop opened in our town. Let me just say I grew up on Shipley donuts. My dad got them for us just about ever saturday a.m. Ahh they are me and my sis' fave! So glad we finally got one. Although my heart is happy, my butt will not be. Yikes.

Our good friends, The Blaggs had a new, baby girl and we got to go visit them in the hospital! She is so cute and looks very similar to her Big sister. I feel like we were just at the hospital meeting Lyla for the first time.

-I "pretended" to be my sisters mom on "Mom's day" for her sorority a couple of weekends ago because my mom wasn't able to make it. That was fun. Oh and yes I had people actually ask me if I was her mother. Umm yeah I had her 20 yrs ago. NOT. Although, I did definitely help raise her and name her.

-We also attended a fun dress-up birthday party. Obviously the boys went all out.

Lastly, I actually FINALLY figured out how to wear my hair curly. I'm really bad at hair, but one day I let it dry completely natural and it had tons of wave in it. then I just curled a few pieces to make it look not as frizzy. Sorry for the weird look on my face. I guess I was still wondering if it looked good or not :) Thoughts? It was probably easier than straightening it!

And there you have it. Our boring life in Pics! I know, you are elated.

So until late next week, I will be vacationing from blogging as well. Don't be too sad, I will be soaking up some sun and can't wait for some R&R!

Adios.

Costa Rica bound

1 week from today I will be headed for warmer weather and a fun vacay with my whole fam! It was kind of a last minute spring break trip that we planned a couple of weeks ago. We are hoping to do some surfing, ziplining and eating lots of delicious food.

Has anyone ever vacationed there? If so, we are staying at Tamarindo and would love any good recommendations?

Heavy Heart

A week ago last Tuesday night is when I heard multiple sirens flying down a road close to my neighborhood. There were so many that my neighbor (who happens to be one of our best friends) decided to go look to see where they went. He couldn't find them, but soon later learned they were going to a couple in their community groups home. Their precious son of 14 mos old had been down napping and never woke up.
The autopsy came back with nothing, meaning there was nothing they could have done whatsoever.
Matt, our neighbor and friend called me extremely upset asking if I could come down and watch their daughter. So I ran down there so he could go be with his wife and their friends at the hospital.
Marc and I set in disbelief that this had really happened. These were people our age, we went to college with the dad, Nate. They went to our church, their son was a ring bearer in his aunts wedding on the previous Saturday (side note: the aunt met her husband from http://www.kellyskornerblog.com/.) He was laughing, dancing, and full of life just 3 days before.

Yesterday was the funeral. It was gut wrenching. I just kept thinking no one should have to bury a baby. It's not fair. But then again life isn't fair and its all on His timing since this is our temporary home.
The amazing mother and father read sweet letters to their baby. I don't know how they did that. Seriously, that took incredible strength. And while we were singing songs of praise, she raised her hand praising the Lord. I just don't know if I would be able to do that. The funeral was a beautiful celebration of his sweet, short life. Throughout this entire nightmare, they have not ceased praising Him which I think is giving God so much glory.













Please consider giving to this sweet memorial fund for this young family that is hurting and will continue to hurt. If you can't give, please keep them in your prayers.

You can also donate through paypal here: http://bitly.com/tuckerhill

If you ant to read a sweet blog post from his Aunt Savannah: http://savannah-myheartyourhome.blogspot.com/

Redneck Sleep Number

I'm sure most of you have seen advertisements for the "Sleep Number" beds, and how absolutely amazing they look! I think it would awesome to have one.
See, Marc and I disagree on the softness of our bed. I would prefer sleeping on a cloud and Marc would prefer sleeping on a brick. But since I have 4 medal rods in my back, that always trumps him and I automatically win that battle.

So the other day he was having major back/neck problems and decided he needed a more firm bed and wanted to see if that would help. Well I decided I just couldn't sllep like that all night because my back kept locking up.

So this was our solution :)

I folded the topper over to just my side and it was AMAZING!!

I know it looks so redneck, but its the best thing i've ever slept on and we haven't changed it back yet! But I'm one happy redneck sleeper!