14 and 15 wks

Sorry for my lack of posting, I swear I'm going to get back to it! Yesterday marked the 15 week mark. It seems to be going by crazy fast, although my mind has been occupied with a few other things.Around 12 weeks I started feeling completely normal. I rarely feel pregnant. Its hard to know what was the estrogen and progesterone or actual pregnancy that would make me feel waves of nausea.All I know is I'm super thankful for the energy I have and not feeling sick. I still have a food aversion to most chicken.

14 wks (in the morning, pre-breakfast)

15 weeks (at night, post-dinner) Yikes

I have currently gained 3-4lbs (although it looks like much more)

This morning we went in for a routine appointment, they did the blood test that tests for abnormalities. I'm praying we hear nothing back on that. They said if we don't hear from them, then its good news, if not the dr will personally call me. So for the next 7 days I will try not to worry! Ha. She tried to hear the heartbeat once again with the doppler thing, but the baby definitely does not like to cooperate for that, therefore she immediately moved us into and ultrasound room to take a peek at the little nugget. Thankfully all looked well and we could once again see the heart beating. She thinks maybe my uterus is positioned in a weird spot and that's why its hard to ever hear it. We got to see the baby for seriously like 1 minute and it wasn't a super great pic, but we did get to see his/her fingers move. Its always a blessing for me to see the miracle inside of me.


The baby is on the right side. Basically Marchelle (nickname for the baby) is all curled up and you can't really see any of the limbs, but you can see the skull and brain!
On May 30th is our big appointment, but I think we may get to find out a little early on May 18th. I'm so stinking excited I can hardly stand it.
I'm going to put up a poll on the right side so you all can vote on what you think it is!

Don't Ignore...

• http://www.resolve.org/infertility101  (Basic understanding of the disease of infertility.)
• http://www.resolve.org/national-infertility-awareness-week/about.html (About NIAW)

April 22-28, 2012 is National Infertility Awareness Week, a nationwide campaign intended to educate the public about infertility and the concerns of the infertility community. Since 1989, RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association has led efforts to celebrate this special week by hosting events and activities designed to encourage grassroots advocacy and motivate the infertility movement.

I wrote a post about this a year ago. Once an infertile, always an infertile. I still feel very strongly about the subject and feel the need to educate others and be an advocate for those that are still dealing with it. It's not just a problem but an actual disease that I don't think a lot of people recognize!
I love that they are trying to get more recognition in Washington for those in office so they too can be more aware of how it affects so many.

Thanks for being aware and thanks for reading this blog. I have tried my best to shed some light on this unfortunate topic.

Thoughts...

As I reflect back on this weekend I have so many thoughts running through my head. It was one of the most emotional weekends I have yet to experience in my life.
I went to Dallas to attend the service for my friend, Mare's 3 babies. As I got there, I received a text from another very close friend letting me know she had to have an emergency C-section and that her baby was in the NICU. She just so happens to live very close to the Dallas area as well.
What a whirlwind it has been. I honestly feel like I can't sort out my thoughts on what all has happened. These were my only 2 (real life) friends that walked the infertility journey with me at the same time. These were the 2 that understood everything. These were the ones I confided in the whole time. These were the ones I truly could rejoice in their happiness of finding out they were pregnant.
These are the 2 that have babies in the NICU... I can't wrap my mind around it all, it just all seems like a bad dream.

If you had told me 10 years ago as I was graduating with all my friends and moving into my college dorm room w/ Mare that I would be attending her babies funeral and her mothers funeral all in one week, I would have laughed in your face. That kind of stuff just doesn't happen...or so I thought. No one should have to go through the things she has had to experience. It seems so unfair. But as her preacher said during the service, this world is a fallen world and we are unfortunately are on this side of it. One day we will be redeemed, reunited and reconnected in which there is no sin, no death, and no crying. I can't wait for that day!
The service for the babies was just perfect. The place was beautiful and the service was amazing. We know that God is holding those babies in His lap and that they are absolutely perfect. Even in the midst of tragedy, God was given glory. I don't know how Mare and Reid kept it together, but they did and I stood in awe.
It felt so wonderful to hug her neck. I just wish I could take some of her pain away. I think about sweet Olivia and thankful she is a feisty fighter. I'm praying so hard for her to keep thriving.

After I left her house I went to see my other friend in the hospital. She felt like she had just woken up from a bad dream but was doing incredibly well for what all had just went down. She said her doctor came right before they wheeled her back and prepared her for the worst for when he came out... Praise Jesus he came out breathing. She was 31 weeks and he weighs 3.4lbs. It is truly a miracle how Gods hand was over everything. He is doing great and we are still praying that he would grow and thrive.

As I sat last night just reflecting back on the day, I was flooded with all kinds of emotions. I was sad, thankful, overwhelmed, scared, fearful, and very weepy. I ache for my friends to hold those babies and bring them home. They have waited so long but perhaps still have very long roads to travel.
It makes me wonder what lies ahead for me. I keep reminding myself that He already knows the outcome and He is still in control and not me.

I love the verse Mare posted on her blog...

The LORD is near to the brokenhearted

and saves the crushed in spirit.

        (Psalm 34:18 ESV)

Chic bridal shower

Sorry for my lack of posting... Not a ton going on in my world other than being pretty sad for my friend and I just don't feel right about posting about all hunky dory stuff.

But I do have another very close friend that is about to get married in a couple of weeks. I'm very excited for her, she has waited a long time to be a bride! I was honored to help celebrate her upcoming nuptials by helping host a shower. Pinterest sure does help make a party look pretty these days. We got most of our inspiration from there and here is how it turned out!

I did the cupcakes and the toppers! That was my contribution.

I'm so thankful for her! We've known each other since pre-school, but became good friends in college. She also has been living with us for the past couple of months until she gets married since her lease was up. I will miss our before bedtime talks! Although, the good news is, she just bought a house in my neighborhood and I couldn't be more excited to have her so close!
I told her she gets 3 more weeks of being the "princess" and then its all about me again! ;) kidding...kind of.

He gives and Takes away

I don't know how to write this post or even begin to explain it, but my best friend, Mary Virginia who was expecting quads has been through so much the past 3 weeks. She has lost 3 of her precious babies and her mother all in the past week. She is handling everything with such grace and strength that I will never understand how. Her and her husband are definitely our new found heroes. They are choosing to love God and still believe that His plan is perfect. I have so many questions for Him right now that I know won't be answered. For now I'm praying for Him to give them Mercy and rest through this heartbreak.
I beg you to cover them in prayer and pray for their sweet Olivia to thrive.

she has been updating her blog pretty regularly if you want to follow her story.
http://mareandreid.blogspot.com/

image found HERE

12 week update and a bump

On Monday we got to see the little nugget. It was amazing. My parents were actually in town and so they got to come in and see the sonogram. They all stood in amazement while we watched the little one flip around, move its mouth and arms. I was amazed at the growth in just over 2 weeks. I could not believe how active he/she was. I was also so thankful at that precious sight. I just can't get over God's sweet blessing to us. I'm overwhelmed with joy and gratitude right now.
I have so much to write about but have a hard time settling my thoughts enough to get it all out. But at some point I will get it all out.

For now, here is that precious baby. The heart rate was 167. He/she is just chillaxing. 

Looks like they are laying in a hammock.

This one is kind of blurry, but he/she is laying face down and you can kind of see the spine. We are sure hoping they get Marc's spine and not mine ;). Scoliosis is hereditary, so we are praying against that.

And the bump is here in all of its glory. I haven't quite been ready to embrace this mainly because I feel/look like a chunk instead of a preggo person. I feel like it popped out super early, but that may also have something to do w/ my back, height and wanting to see a baby bump for forever. Who knows, its here and I'm looking forward to it growing and embracing it.

And the baby got an Easter basket from Nana Jan... the out-of-controlness has already begun.

We don't go back to the regular OB for 3 more weeks, which I'm sure will feel like forever. I doubt we will get to find out the gender then, but I'm keeping my fingers crossed! Maybe we can get an early peek!
In other news, yesterday I got released from the fertility doctor. WHAATT, I'm now just a regular OB patient? That does not seem possible, so I sent like 3 emails double checking. I just feel like we've had this ongoing relationship that I was not prepared to say bye to. I feel so close to the nurse practitioner b/c I would bother her with emails almost daily. She laughed and said everything was good to go and to send a pic when the baby got here. So I'm officially done with progesterone and estrogen patches! Apparently my placenta does the job from here. Praising Him for this journey so far.

Happy birthday mom

Happy Birthday to my amazing mother! She is one of the most thoughtful, loving, sacrificing people I will ever know. She also looks absolutely incredible for her age. Although she would kill me for sharing her age, I promise you wold be surprised because she looks so much younger. I just hope I look as good as her when I'm her age or at least inherited the "young looking" gene.
Anyways, thanks for being there for me for my whole life, but most importantly the past 2 years. She is the one that would whisk me away on a fun trip when she saw I was sinking into a depression. She is the one that always said it would be ok no matter what happens. I hope one day I love my kids as well as she has loved me and my sister. 

A clairisonic face brush to keep that skin flawless....

Her own mini cake from ricks, her favorite.

Easter Sunday!

Thanks for everything! Looking forward to the next chapter with you as a grandmother!

Newness of Life

I just love spring and what it brings. I came home a couple of weekends ago to a fun surprise of freshly planted spring flowers in my yard and pots. While I was out of town, my sweet husband had been busy getting our yard all nice and springy for my return home. It made me so excited. I love flowers and attempting to keep them alive. (Marc is dying laughing when he reads this, because I have a black thumb instead of a green one, hence why he did the planting).
Either way I love spring and what it brings. I love watching things bloom before my eyes. Everything gets greener by the day, leaves begin sprouting, and blooms begin blooming. I feel like my soul is refreshed each spring time.









It also reminds me that I too have been given a new life. Not just a new life growing in me, but a new life in Christ. As we approach this Easter, I think about the sacrifice on the cross and how God sacrificed His one and only son so that our sins could be forgiven. Then I think about how yucky my heart is and why would I ever deserve a gift like that. We deserve nothing in this world, but have been blessed with His love which is sufficient for us. We don't have to do everything on our own, we have someone that is here and willing to be near if we will let Him.

As I have been reading through the Easter story and reflecting this week, I think about what must Jesus must have felt the week of knowing everything was about to change. I'm sure he felt overwhelmed, scared and hopeful. Hopeful that we may know Him and turn to Him after knowing that the ultimate sacrifice was made for us.

1 Peter 1:3
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead

Romans 1:4-5
And Jesus Christ our Lord was shown to be the Son of God when God powerfully raised him from the dead by means of the Holy Spirit. Through Christ, God has given us the privilege and authority to tell Gentiles everywhere what God has done for them, so that they will believe and obey him, bringing glory to his name.




He has Risen!!! Enjoy Easter everyone.

Telling the Parents

We found out that it was a YES on a Friday afternoon. We were so ecstatic that we didn't even know what to do. I told Marc I had always dreamed of being able to surprise my parents but since all the infertility stuff happened I had given that dream up. But somehow, right after our transfer, we both decided to get on the same page and fib about the date we were finding out. I think for every person that asked, we told a different "finding out" day. It got super confusing on who we told what.. My parents and his thought we would be finding out on that Monday.

So being the sweet husband that he is, he first said, well lets go buy a celebratory gift. He said I was prepared to buy you a "sorry it didn't work" gift, but now I want to celebrate by buying it anyways and it was also close to Valentines, so it we had a double reason!
That is when this came into play!!! I had been wanting an Ipad for forever.

After we bought the ipad we headed straight for little rock. My thought was that I could put this picture as the screen saver and then show them what Marc got me for valentines. But since we didn't even go home, I had no time to set it up. So then I already had them a gift, which they knew I had one but didn't know what it was. I told my sis what is was so no one would get suspicious.

We arrived in Little Rock around 9sih, knocked on their door and said surprise! I explained the reason we were there was because it was my Nana's 80th birthday and I didn't want to miss it because I had missed my grandfathers 79th and he didn't make it to 80 and I've regretted that a ton. (which I really did). Although we did miss her party, I wanted to have lunch with her and spend the day with her on Saturday. They totally bought it. Then we just sat there and chatted awhile and tried to act non-chalant as possible. Then Marc went to get our bags, and I was like, "Oh yeah, grab their gift I got them."
So they began opening the gift and this is what hey opened:

They had a really hard week, which included 2 close friends of theirs dying. I had been joking around with them saying they needed one of these. My dad said it would take more than just 1 :)
Then I wrapped the preggo test in tissue paper and put it at the bottom of the sack. So they first opened the happy light, and they were like, "oh thanks." I think they were thinking it was going to be something super exciting, and it was kind of a let down, Ha!
Then I said there is one more little thing in there that might make you happy.

Here you can see them opening it! (turn volume down)

The next morning we went to tell Nana. We handed her the preggo stick and she said, "I know this isn't mine, I'm not pregnant." We thought that was hilarious. She really loves to joke around but really was so excited for us. She absolutely is obsessed babies!

Then I sent this to a few friends! And we also did the iPad picture with some other friends.

It was super fun to be able to tell our close friends and family. We ended up calling Marc's family because they live almost 6 hours away. They were still so thrilled for us. We are thankful for all of their support and prayers over the years. We definitely could not have done it without them.

Once again, thanks for sharing in our JOY with us!