Whats really going on...

{WARNING: this post is long, but openly honest about what I'm dealing with right now in my life. Read at your own risk! But don't say I didn't warn you about the length!}

I don't always talk about what is truly going on with me on this blog. I usually blog about what I've been up to or a whole lot of nothing. I started this blog to document our lives about what is going on so we could both remember what we actually did during our life together. I had it re-designed almost a year ago thinking I would have lots to talk about this past year. Unfortunately, this past year did not pan out like I would have hoped and prayed for. You see I'm very much a planner, I had my life planned out from the moment I got married. I told everyone we would wait at least 5 years before having children, since we were so young. I thought I would be ready way before that, but in reality I was scared to death. Since marrying so young, many of our friends got married several years after us, so no one we were around really were having children. Basically it just wasn't on our radar because we were loving and living life and honestly weren't ready to give up our freedom.
Well about a year ago, Marc really got the itch to start "trying." I really needed a few more months because of the fear holding me back. Having 4 metal rods in your back and being told your entire life that pregnancy will be one of the most painful things to ever go through, I decided I should really be ready and should want this. We went on a cruise in March and then I decided to go off birth control right after that. I felt great about having one "last" trip before getting pregnant.
With all of that said, this past year has been quite a learning one. The moment we began "trying" is the moment I would find out several of our best friends were pregnant and would continue finding out most all of our other close friends were also becoming pregnant. My goal was to have a baby in the spring, for many reasons such as, it wasn't hunting season any longer, I wouldn't have to be huge in the summer, and it would be perfect weather for walking... Well that dream got shattered after July and August had past. Then I thought summer birthdays aren't so bad, Marc and I both have one so that could be fun... that dream got shattered. Fall is also beautiful and not to bad of weather, and now that dream is officially over, which brings me to today and this journey that I am on.
A few weeks ago I finally went to the doctor, they did some blood work and we discussed different "issues" that could be causing this infertility. As we got my blood work back, it tested positive for polycystic ovary syndrome (pcos). This was a complete shock to me, I was not expecting that bomb at all. I'm not going to go into all the details of pcos, but you can google it if you want. Basically, without the help of some type of fertility assistance, I will not be getting preggo on my anytime soon.
With all of that said, the past year I have experienced so many emotions: Grief, bitterness, hope, anger, jealousy and sadness. This was a journey I never ever expected to go down. I thought my problems were going to be the back issues and that was it. I have never been so wrong. I truly have already learned so much. First, being that God's plan is always bigger than my own and that I'm definitely not in control. It has brought Marc and I so much closer together, and I have realized how thankful I am for such a supportive family. I have also met some new friends who also are going down this road as well, which helps a ton.  This process is by no means easy, but I do still have hope, hope that is in the Lord, it just might not be the timing I had originally wanted or planned for. But I will tell you, when or if I ever do get pregnant, the feeling of blessed will take on a whole new meaning and there will be NO complaining. Mark my words.

If you actually read through all of that, wow you are a dedicated reader and I thank you! I will most likely start blogging about this journey from here on out. I have always been a journaler, so it feels good to write it out and process that way. I understand not everyone wants to read about this, but I'm doing it for myself. I will continue to change it up!

Thanks for listening/reading.

Party Pretzels

Here is the recipe for those pretzels I made for Kara's shower.

First I went to hobby lobby and bought these candy wafers.

They have all different colors, small bags and large bags.

I also bought large pretzel rods from the grocery store.

 I placed the wafers in a microwavable safe bowl to melt them.

 I tilted the bowl, rolled half of the pretzel in the vanilla mixture, then sprinkled the sparkly sprinkles on them!

 I placed wax paper on top of a cookie sheet and placed them there to dry.

You can buy the plastic wrap and tags at hobby lobby as well which

make a great party favor for any type of party.

Since the Super Bowl is coming up, you could make them with white and green, or white and yellow depending on who you are cheering for! These are super easy and fun to make!

Enjoy!

Snow Day, Take 2

Today is the 2nd snow day at home. Most things are closed here in NWA and the roads are still treacherous. It was 6 degrees this morning and will be 1 degree tonight and apparently more snow on the way next week. I wasn't quite aware that I lived in a frozen tundra, but it sure looks and feels that way.

It has been nice to have a few days at home, but one more day and I will most likely go stir crazy!

Here are a few pics from the past couple of days

This was the news report on monday night... I mean really?

yesterday afternoon

naptime and laying around with our friends who so happen to be our neighbors 

 while the boys played the wii

The snow is beautiful, but it is just about too cold to even go out and enjoy it.

If I had even known or had a little more time to plan for this snowpocalypse I would have been making this yummy soup recipe that a lady at work told me about! It seems like the perfect to soup to warm up with.

Stuffed Spud Soup 

2 lbs. frozen hash browns, thawed

½ cup butter (you can use less)

½ cup chopped green onion

1 (10 oz.) can cream of chicken soup

Salt and pepper to taste

3-4 cups Half ‘n’ Half or milk

1 cup shredded cheddar cheese

Saute’ onion in butter. Add soup, Half ‘n’ Half, and thawed potatoes. Stir in cheese and heat gently. (Serves 8-10)

I really hope to try this soon because it looks yummy!

Happy Snowpocalypse! 

Baby Ellery's Shower

This past weekend we threw a baby shower for my good friend, Kara. She is expecting her first baby girl in March. There were several hostesses for this shower and we decided to go with a "sweet" theme.
On the "sweet" menu we had: chocolate cream cheese cupcakes, strawberry cupcakes, oreo balls, fruit, and pie. The color scheme we went with was cream, tan, and a touch of pink. Amber was kind enough to host it at her house and did a great job planning out the decor.

I was in charge of the banner for the mantle and the party favors. I was a little nervous about all of this, but thankfully my good friend Katie talked me through using her cricut machine. Those machines are incredible and can do so much. For the party favors I made vanilla covered pretzels and bought some super fun glitter sprinkles from hobby lobby to dip them in! I will post a how-to later this week on those, because they were so easy and would be great for any occasion. Overall, I thought the shower turned out great. She got a few duplicates of things, but hopefully she can get what she needs with some good credit!

We are so excited to meet sweet baby Ellery.