Interrupted Expectations

Well I don't really even know where to begin to start the latest update, but all I can say I'm very thankful its a new week. Last week was a doozy, and a big one at that. I really think it may have been the lowest one yet since beginning this whole journey. Me being weepy would most likely be an understatement.

It all started on Fathers Day Sunday. I woke up extremely sad. I had my first symptom of pms and knew what that meant, plus it was a Holiday and a perfect reminder that we aren't yet parents. I'm not a fan of Holidays, birthdays or milestones these days. Its just plain hard, no way around that.
To give you some background info, we just finished our 3rd iui with my 6th round of clomid. This time I had 2 BIG egg follicles, which was terrific and the first time ever that has ever happened. I was feeling so positive and hopeful for this round to work. We had tons of people lifting us up in prayer and I felt so incredibly supported. Unfortunately, the inevitable happened, I started and was devastated. Probably more so than ever. I felt defeated, alone, sad, angry and just plain exhausted from it all. I just kept thinking, why God, why. I don't understand, although I do know he has a perfectly good reason.
So on top of all that, I also found out the next day that several people I know are expecting.  That is just never easy. I always feel mad and then seem to grieve about it each time. I hate that, I really do want to just be happy for everyone as I should be, it's just way easier said than done.
After one "mental health" day off from work and one major meltdown, and a lot of time talking to the Big guy, I started to feel better. I also had some sweet gifts and words of encouragement from my family and friends, which meant so much to me.

So for this month we have decided to take a break from everything. No drugs, no Dr's appointments, no procedures, nada. I feel really good about this, we want and need a break because it is so exhausting. Then I'm not sure about what the next step and months will look like. Praying about those next steps...whatever they may be.

1 Peter 1:6-7

New Living Translation (NLT)

 ⁶ So be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you have to endure many trials for a little while. ⁷ These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold—though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world.

Baby Beck's Shower

Yesterday I had the opportunity to host a wonderful shower for my friend Louise. She is due with a boy at the end of July. This was the first shower i have actually ever hosted at my own home and I really enjoyed it. I have really started loving to plan parties. I loved doing my moms and I loved doing this one as well. There were 8 total hostesses so I had a ton of help which made it way less stressful.

Louise is my "hippy" friend, so I knew immediately that I wanted it to have an "earthy" theme to it. The colors were mainly green and cream with some blue thrown in. Instead of doing a lot of flowers we did plants that she could take home with her (which she loved). For food we did, cream cheese/cucumber/dill crackers, cupcakes, trail mix, hummus w/ pita chips, and fruit kabobs. It was the perfect summer baby shower menu. All pretty light and refreshing and it was all almost eaten!

 We had a blessings tree for her. People wrote sweet words of encouragement or prayers to her on little leaves. I sent her home with the tree and extra leaves so that when people come to visit her they can continue writing prayers/blessings to her, Ben and the baby.

 I made this banner on the cricut machine. I love that thing, it makes it so easy.

The fun party favors. Everyone went home with almost a whole garden because we had so many left over! One of the other hostesses did this and did such a wonderful job putting it all together.

I loved how they turned out.

Our hostess gift to the mom-to-be. A swing! I think she liked it.

Love her and can't wait to get my hands on that baby boy.

All the wonderful Hostesses that did a fantastic job helping me with everything,

I'm so thankful for the opportunity to have had a shower for Louise. It was a great time and a we had a pretty decent turn out. Hopefully she enjoyed it as much as we all did planning for it!

NYC bound

I'm so excited, last week Marc booked me a flight to NYC! He will already be working there during the week and I will fly out on the weekend so we can spend it together. Thankfully we had some free miles to use so it was a free trip for us to get there!
I never thought in a million years I would go to New York with Marc because he hates crowded places with lots of people, and does not enjoy large, busy cities. So it should be interesting. Ha!
I have been 2 other times, one with my fam and one time for a wedding and loved it both times.

If you have ever been, where is a good place to stay and what are some must-do's that are not-so-costly? {Medical bills and car bills are taking over our budget at a brisk pace right now}so we have to do this trip cheap! Our birthdays will be the very next week, so I'm pretending like it's our b-day trip!

I'm super excited to have a little get away, because this week has just about done me in. It has definitely been one of the more difficult ones. I will try to explain another day. For now, I'm just thankful to have something to look forward too.

Please leave me a comment telling me some things we should do!

Cake Recipe

Ok I promised the cake recipe we made for my dad for Fathers Day, so here it is.

1 box of white cake mix (prepare as usual)


Now for the good part:
Whipped Cream Cheese Icing

• 1 (8 ounce) package cream cheese
• 1 cup white sugar
• 1/8 teaspoon salt
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 1 1/2 cups heavy whipping cream

Directions

1. In a small bowl beat whipping cream until stiff peaks form; set aside.
2. In a large bowl combine cream cheese, sugar, salt and vanilla. Beat until smooth, then fold in whipped cream.

We eat this cake at the lake every 4th of July and it is for sure a crowd pleaser. If there are several of us we have 2, because 1 just doesn't cut it. I promise you will not be disappointed. You could also do other toppings if you didn't want the fruit of top of it. It is also good without a topping because the icing is so yummy.