14 and 15 wks

Sorry for my lack of posting, I swear I'm going to get back to it! Yesterday marked the 15 week mark. It seems to be going by crazy fast, although my mind has been occupied with a few other things.Around 12 weeks I started feeling completely normal. I rarely feel pregnant. Its hard to know what was the estrogen and progesterone or actual pregnancy that would make me feel waves of nausea.All I know is I'm super thankful for the energy I have and not feeling sick. I still have a food aversion to most chicken.

14 wks (in the morning, pre-breakfast)

15 weeks (at night, post-dinner) Yikes

I have currently gained 3-4lbs (although it looks like much more)

This morning we went in for a routine appointment, they did the blood test that tests for abnormalities. I'm praying we hear nothing back on that. They said if we don't hear from them, then its good news, if not the dr will personally call me. So for the next 7 days I will try not to worry! Ha. She tried to hear the heartbeat once again with the doppler thing, but the baby definitely does not like to cooperate for that, therefore she immediately moved us into and ultrasound room to take a peek at the little nugget. Thankfully all looked well and we could once again see the heart beating. She thinks maybe my uterus is positioned in a weird spot and that's why its hard to ever hear it. We got to see the baby for seriously like 1 minute and it wasn't a super great pic, but we did get to see his/her fingers move. Its always a blessing for me to see the miracle inside of me.


The baby is on the right side. Basically Marchelle (nickname for the baby) is all curled up and you can't really see any of the limbs, but you can see the skull and brain!
On May 30th is our big appointment, but I think we may get to find out a little early on May 18th. I'm so stinking excited I can hardly stand it.
I'm going to put up a poll on the right side so you all can vote on what you think it is!

Don't Ignore...

• http://www.resolve.org/infertility101  (Basic understanding of the disease of infertility.)
• http://www.resolve.org/national-infertility-awareness-week/about.html (About NIAW)

April 22-28, 2012 is National Infertility Awareness Week, a nationwide campaign intended to educate the public about infertility and the concerns of the infertility community. Since 1989, RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association has led efforts to celebrate this special week by hosting events and activities designed to encourage grassroots advocacy and motivate the infertility movement.

I wrote a post about this a year ago. Once an infertile, always an infertile. I still feel very strongly about the subject and feel the need to educate others and be an advocate for those that are still dealing with it. It's not just a problem but an actual disease that I don't think a lot of people recognize!
I love that they are trying to get more recognition in Washington for those in office so they too can be more aware of how it affects so many.

Thanks for being aware and thanks for reading this blog. I have tried my best to shed some light on this unfortunate topic.

Thoughts...

As I reflect back on this weekend I have so many thoughts running through my head. It was one of the most emotional weekends I have yet to experience in my life.
I went to Dallas to attend the service for my friend, Mare's 3 babies. As I got there, I received a text from another very close friend letting me know she had to have an emergency C-section and that her baby was in the NICU. She just so happens to live very close to the Dallas area as well.
What a whirlwind it has been. I honestly feel like I can't sort out my thoughts on what all has happened. These were my only 2 (real life) friends that walked the infertility journey with me at the same time. These were the 2 that understood everything. These were the ones I confided in the whole time. These were the ones I truly could rejoice in their happiness of finding out they were pregnant.
These are the 2 that have babies in the NICU... I can't wrap my mind around it all, it just all seems like a bad dream.

If you had told me 10 years ago as I was graduating with all my friends and moving into my college dorm room w/ Mare that I would be attending her babies funeral and her mothers funeral all in one week, I would have laughed in your face. That kind of stuff just doesn't happen...or so I thought. No one should have to go through the things she has had to experience. It seems so unfair. But as her preacher said during the service, this world is a fallen world and we are unfortunately are on this side of it. One day we will be redeemed, reunited and reconnected in which there is no sin, no death, and no crying. I can't wait for that day!
The service for the babies was just perfect. The place was beautiful and the service was amazing. We know that God is holding those babies in His lap and that they are absolutely perfect. Even in the midst of tragedy, God was given glory. I don't know how Mare and Reid kept it together, but they did and I stood in awe.
It felt so wonderful to hug her neck. I just wish I could take some of her pain away. I think about sweet Olivia and thankful she is a feisty fighter. I'm praying so hard for her to keep thriving.

After I left her house I went to see my other friend in the hospital. She felt like she had just woken up from a bad dream but was doing incredibly well for what all had just went down. She said her doctor came right before they wheeled her back and prepared her for the worst for when he came out... Praise Jesus he came out breathing. She was 31 weeks and he weighs 3.4lbs. It is truly a miracle how Gods hand was over everything. He is doing great and we are still praying that he would grow and thrive.

As I sat last night just reflecting back on the day, I was flooded with all kinds of emotions. I was sad, thankful, overwhelmed, scared, fearful, and very weepy. I ache for my friends to hold those babies and bring them home. They have waited so long but perhaps still have very long roads to travel.
It makes me wonder what lies ahead for me. I keep reminding myself that He already knows the outcome and He is still in control and not me.

I love the verse Mare posted on her blog...

The LORD is near to the brokenhearted

and saves the crushed in spirit.

        (Psalm 34:18 ESV)

Chic bridal shower

Sorry for my lack of posting... Not a ton going on in my world other than being pretty sad for my friend and I just don't feel right about posting about all hunky dory stuff.

But I do have another very close friend that is about to get married in a couple of weeks. I'm very excited for her, she has waited a long time to be a bride! I was honored to help celebrate her upcoming nuptials by helping host a shower. Pinterest sure does help make a party look pretty these days. We got most of our inspiration from there and here is how it turned out!

I did the cupcakes and the toppers! That was my contribution.

I'm so thankful for her! We've known each other since pre-school, but became good friends in college. She also has been living with us for the past couple of months until she gets married since her lease was up. I will miss our before bedtime talks! Although, the good news is, she just bought a house in my neighborhood and I couldn't be more excited to have her so close!
I told her she gets 3 more weeks of being the "princess" and then its all about me again! ;) kidding...kind of.